The principle of "AMENDS"

to compensate, retribute, apologize, set right, make even, atone for one's error

FEARS:

* I can't
* I will be hurt
* ridicule
* humiliation
* too much effort

What does it look like when I am doing it? (rewards)

* cleaning our side of the street
* honest effort
* things are right
* appreciation
* relief, release

What does it look like when I am not doing it? (costs)

* secrets
* arrogance
* intolerance by others
* resentments
* anger

What are the benefits?

* peace
* serenity
* forgiveness
* humility

What is the truth?

* amends are necessary and growth promoting

What is the illusion?

* I can get away with thngs