Chapter 7 - Enlightenment in Action

You will not be enlightened when you dedicate your life to ending hunger. You will not be enlightened when you give up your worldly possessions and move to Tibet. And you will not be enlightened when you become more loving and peaceful toward your fellow man. You will be enlightened when, and only when, you see through the illusions of life. Once you reach this state, you may choose to perform these or thousands of other noble tasks. But they are not required. In fact, nothing is required. Instead, how you will act in the world becomes a real choice for perhaps the first time in your life. What you do with it is up to you. Feed the hungry. Save the whales. Or build an empire.

But enlightenment is not about action. It is about seeing. And learning to see for yourself is the result of questioning the unquestionable. The more you do this, the more you will open up your world to true possibility.

Embracing Contradictions and Conflict

While baseball may be billed as America’s national pastime, it pales in comparison to our love of contradictions and conflict. The preacher caught stealing from his congregation. The politician and the intern. The mother who kills her children. We are shocked at the inherent contradictions involved and can’t seem to get enough of these stories. In fact, if technology has done nothing else to improve the quality of our lives, it has given us hundreds of cable TV channels that often fill our lives with the conflict and contradictions we so desire.

But while we can’t seem to get enough of the conflict and contradictions we see in others, we are obsessed with eliminating those we discover within ourselves. We want to lose weight but can’t resist the chocolate cake in our refrigerators. We want to be better parents, but often catch ourselves ignoring or sometimes even screaming at our children. We think of ourselves as honest people, but then are dismayed when friends question our ethics and we realize they have a valid point. When we uncover our inner conflicts we often become paralyzed. What am I to do? What kind of person am I? As we entertain these types of questions all forward progress is stopped. For us to be able to get on with our lives we must either answer the questions or forget we asked them.

For the unenlightened man, these are his only means of moving forward since the instant he becomes aware of an inner conflict, his life stops and his battle begins. And since the elimination of one contradiction simply clears the way for another, his battle never really ends. The enlightened man recognizes this and stops making the elimination of conflict and contradiction his primary goal in life. Instead, he recognizes the potential power they hold and exercises the patience and restraint necessary to harness this power.

Early in the movie The Patriot, Mel Gibson’s character, Benjamin Martin, finds himself squarely in the middle of an inner conflict. He is torn between honoring his own values and those of his country. He handles the conflict well enough until his unwillingness to serve his country leads to some devastating consequences in his own life. He is now distraught as he considers what part his own actions have already played, and may continue to play, in the misery that is unfolding around him. Does he continue to honor his own inner values or does he serve the “higher good” of his nation? As he sits in agony, contemplating this question, a loving relative tries to help him resolve his inner conflict.

“You have done nothing for which you should be ashamed,” she tells him.

This person truly cares for Mel Gibson’s character and is troubled by seeing him in so much pain. She has his best interests at heart and is doing her best to help him.

Now, think of how most of us might react to her kind words. In an effort to resolve our inner conflict we might be tempted to accept and embrace her words. But with that one response we would have given away all our power. If Mel Gibson’s character had responded this way, the movie would have been over right then and there. His opportunity to become a hero would have been washed away by his relative’s compassionate words.

But, what if Mel Gibson had sought to distract himself from his inner conflict? Maybe he would have agreed with her and then asked her to go for a walk or have a bite to eat. That would get his mind off his troubles. But again, it would also destroy his opportunity to change his life.

No, Mel Gibson’s character doesn’t attempt to resolve his inner conflict or distract himself from it. He faces it head on.

When his relative tells him, “You have done nothing for which you should be ashamed. He responds, “I have done nothing. And for that I am ashamed.”

And it is here that his hero’s journey begins. His response doesn’t resolve his inner conflict and it doesn’t take his mind off of it. His response turns the conflict into an inner source of energy that propels him to act. Is he still ashamed of his previous actions? Yes. Is he still aware of them? Yes. But they no longer cripple him. They empower him.

You see, the very situations we seek to resolve often contain the very keys to the power we seek, if we can leave them be long enough for their lessons to appear. Clearly there are contradictions and conflicts that must be handled immediately to ensure the safety of ourselves or others. But not all contradictions we become aware of are emergencies. And for those that aren’t, if we can learn to entertain them and continue on in our lives in spite of them, they can become some of the greatest sources of power and wisdom in our lives.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Creating Context

Outside my window I can see a neighbor walking his dog along our street. This is a daily occurrence and, until now, I haven’t thought much about it. But, being in an inquisitive mood, I ask myself, “Besides walking his dog, what else is he doing?” Let’s see.

He’s exercising. He’s letting his dog go potty. He’s moving in an easterly direction. He’s wearing out his shoes. He’s wasting time he could be using for something else. He’s distracting me from my writing. I could go on, but this is enough to work with. Now, let me ask you a question. Of the possibilities I just mentioned, which one is the right one? There isn’t a right one? Okay then, which one is the most right? Silly question? Of course it is. There isn’t a right answer. They are all equally right. But, they are not equally useful.

Why did I notice, without effort, “a man walking his dog,” but I had to work to notice other things such as “ a man moving in an easterly direction” and “a man wasting time?” Because our current thoughts and concerns determine what we see.

If my neighbor’s physician saw the same thing I did, he might say, “It’s nice to see my patient exercising.” My neighbor’s wife might say, “There he is again, wasting his time when he could be mowing our lawn.” And a policeman on a stakeout in the neighborhood might say, “There is a man walking in an easterly direction.” They would unconsciously frame the situation in the way that would be most appropriate given their current thoughts and concerns. You and I are no different.

Though it is certainly possible for us to generate alternative contexts for behavior, we rarely do. Instead, we typically accept the first one that arises in our mind and leave it at that. After all, what difference does it make to us whether someone is exercising, walking his dog or wasting his time? It doesn’t, unless you want to harness another powerful way of altering your reality.

Whereas most people won’t give this idea a second thought, the enlightened man recognizes the awesome power it illustrates. The power of context. When you see through the illusions around you, you no longer have to discover the “correct” context in a given situation; you are free to create an effective context in which to act. This isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is the strategy of the unenlightened. Wishful thinkers find themselves upset about a given situation and try to get out of it by repeating to themselves absurd mantras such as, “I’m calm, cool and collected” or, “This isn’t happening to me.” Why do they do this? Because they believe their initial assessment of circumstances is more real than anything they might come up with later and their only hope is to temporarily override the “truth” by repeating a “lie.”

The enlightened man, however, recognizes the absurdity of seeing one context as inherently more right than another, and is thus free to accept or create a context that serves him and not enslaves him.

This reminds me of a well-known story that is often used to illustrate the power of context. Once there were two men working side by side at a construction site. One of them was grumbling as he worked, the other whistling. When asked what he was doing, the first man responded, “I’m laying bricks, what does it look like I’m doing?” When the second man was asked the same question, he replied, “I’m building a cathedral, what does it look like I’m doing.”

Though their physical actions were identical, their contexts couldn’t have been more different. One man’s context was debilitating, the other’s, invigorating. While this story is encouraging, it leaves one big question unanswered. How do we change the way we see things?

About three months ago I found a suspicious looking mole on my foot. Ordinarily this wouldn’t have concerned me, except I have a history of skin cancer and the thought of going through that ordeal again terrified me. I looked back at the mole. Maybe it wasn’t so suspicious looking after all, I told myself, then promptly put it out of my mind. But, every day after that, as I stepped out of the shower and dried my feet, the thoughts of biopsies and surgeries would return, as did my panic. I just couldn’t go through that again, I told myself. It just couldn’t be skin cancer. And each time the thoughts would go away. Unfortunately, the mole and the terror did not. I had to go see my doctor, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

As a result, my fears soon worked their way into other areas of my life. I began to have trouble concentrating at work. I started losing my temper at home and I began to have nightmares. Of course, I didn’t know what was causing any of this until I tried to describe what enlightenment is like to a friend. I needed an example of how suddenly one can change his perspective. I instantly pointed to my foot and said, “It’s like this thing on my foot. It has terrified me because until this very moment, no matter what I’ve tried to tell myself, I’ve just ‘known’ it’s cancer and I’m not up for that again. Now, as I sit here with you, I realize I don’t ‘know’ any such thing. And just like that, I see it as a ‘thing’ and not ‘cancer.’ And it’s much easier for me to see a doctor about a ‘thing’ than it is about ‘cancer.’”

The physical action I needed to take, that is, go see a doctor, didn’t change, only the context did. But when it did, the same action that had been so difficult suddenly became easy. But how? By simply remembering that one context is never inherently more right than another. The instant I ceased to “know” my instinctive context was true, I was able to choose a more useful one. And I did. It turned out my mole wasn’t malignant, but the lesson it taught me has been invaluable. There is nothing to do but remind yourself of the illusion. When you do that, you are free to choose how to face the things before you. You can also choose how to face the past.

What’s done is done. No matter how much we may wish things were different, we simply cannot change the past. This is no big surprise to most of us as it’s common wisdom that has been passed down through the ages. It would take a god to change the past and we’re not gods. So the realization that what’s done is done helps us accept the past and face the future. But, what if the past isn’t as fixed as we’ve been led to believe?

A woman I once knew had what she considered an ideal family life. She had a loving husband, great kids, and an affluent lifestyle. She would often share many of her happy memories with my wife and me whenever we would get together. We would hear stories of her fantastic honeymoon, the birth of her children, her recent wedding anniversary and even the time her husband surprised her with a trip overseas. No matter what happened in the future, no one could take those memories away from her. After all, what’s done is done right? Not quite.

It seems her husband had a secret. There were other lovers in his life and they weren’t all women. When she discovered this, the very memories she had once cherished began to haunt her. Did her husband ever really love her or did he marry her to try to cover up his other life? Did he really have a few hours of work to do when they were on their honeymoon or was he seeing someone else? And who was the friend he had to visit when they were overseas? Suddenly, with her entire past in question, she struggled with what to do in the present and with what the future might hold.

No, what’s done is never really done, is it? Though it is clear we cannot go back in time and alter the physical events that have already taken place, the truth is, the physical aspects of the past are only a small part of it. Our interpretation of the past often plays an even larger role in our day-to-day lives and our interpretation is always capable of being changed.

Many years ago an elderly lady whom I respected insulted me for no apparent reason. At that time I had dropped out of college and I explained to her that it was because I wanted to take some time off till I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I remember she laughed and then suggested that maybe I just wasn’t college material. I was stunned. Why would she say such a thing? That topic of
conversation ended right then and there. She didn’t explain herself and she didn’t apologize. For several years I held this against her and, even though it was never discussed again, it badly damaged our relationship. But then, I discovered that what’s done is never done.

About five years after this initial insult, I was explaining the story to an acquaintance who happened to be about the same age as the woman who had insulted me. But rather than consoling me, my acquaintance told me something that changed my life. He explained that, back in the 1940’s, when he and this woman were about my age, many people couldn’t afford college and as a result, weren’t considered college material. He said they didn’t consider it an insult. It was just the way things were. Then he had the gall to suggest that perhaps this woman never intended to insult me after all, but instead meant to support me in my decision. In that instant, my past changed.

If you want to see a dramatic example of how people can show up in our lives and dramatically alter our understanding of the past, rent the movie Disney’s The Kid starring Bruce Willis. Don’t be fooled by the title. This is a powerful movie for anyone, of any age, who struggles with their past. It’s one of the most inspiring movies I’ve ever seen.

So, while we cannot change the physical events of the past, our understanding of those events can change and when they do, the change can ripple throughout all time, past, present and future. By unconsciously accepting the notion that what’s done is done, you leave the power to change the past solely in the hands of circumstance. But by accepting the notion that what’s done is never done, reality becomes flexible and you can begin to change the course of your entire life. Including your past.

Who controls the past, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.

George Orwell